Own your worth
‘Own Your Worth’, that’s a BIG one. Complex, but perhaps a lot more simplistic than we might think. Have you ever thought about what your own worth looks like for you, or more importantly how it FEELS for you?
When I’m referring to self worth, it’s your own sense of internal validation - not looking externally here for validation (which is what we’re unfortunately hard wired to do). The power of owning your self worth relies solely on you, it’s your responsibility and your own unique and individual level of connecting with it. Surprise surprise, no one else can do that for you!
So why is taking time to really figure out where your self worth lies an important thing to do? A healthy sense of self worth contributes to better relationships, work, health and overall mental and emotional wellbeing. In a nutshell, the beliefs we hold onto underpin our fulfilment of life.
As soon as I began working with clients, it became very clear how many of us are held back by our lack of self worth. On the surface, things seem to be looking pretty good, but underneath there are beliefs that are truly getting in peoples’ way. We instinctively know, deep down, we’re not feeling as good as we can do. It’s this instinctive, intuitive feeling that leads us to explore why, and ultimately what we can do about it.
Loosely speaking there are four components that can help you to evaluate your own self worth; self confidence, identity, feeling of belonging and feeling of competence.
Self confidence is the feeling of trusting and believing in your abilities, your qualities and your sense of judgement. It means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you have a positive view of yourself, you set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively and can handle criticism.
Identity is the values, qualities, beliefs, personality traits and appearance that characterise a person. We can often find ourselves confused as to what our identity truly is when we are conditioned to fit int a mould of what our identity ‘should’ look like to other people. Being our authentic self.
Feeling of belonging is the feeling of security and support we feel when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion and space to truly be ourselves amongst others. this can be on a personal and individual level too, we need to have a healthy sense of belonging to ourself before we can feel belonging and connection with others.
Feeling of competence is the sense that you can do something successfully or efficiently, and that you have the ability to perform well. It’s the knowledge, skills and attitudes you bring to your personal development, employability, social inclusion and active citizenship.
Have you ever thought about your self worth in this way? What’s your immediate and instinctive reaction when you are asked to?
And now handing over to you. If you could give yourself a number score between 1-10 for each of the self worth elements where would you rank (1 being the least secure and 10 the most secure)? Take time to really think about each element individually. Sit with yourself, and allow yourself to get honest. We are talking about your own beliefs around your self worth and not what other people may ‘perceive’ you to be. It can be quite tricky to differentiate between the two at times. Breathe deep, reflect and tune into yourself and you’ll find your truest answer.
Do you rank higher on some components than others? Having a greater personal awareness of where your self worth is automatically sets in motion the ability to change, delve and improve it.
If you were to score higher on each, or perhaps just one of the components, what impact would that have for you? How significant would it be?
Working with clients and their sense of self worth is a truly empowering process. We work with where they are, where they want to be and how they can make it happen. It can be that simple.
Interested in working with me? Connect at www.laurenjanecoaching.com I’d love to hear from you!